: Re: What are ways to "Show, don't tell" without simply listing bodily actions? Tell: Andy looked angry Show: Andy scrunched his eyebrows together, he gritted his teeth and glared. His

@Nimeshi163

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To see the answer, think in clearer terms. "Show, don't tell" is about evidence vs. inference. This advice matters because readers like to be given evidence and to make inferences themselves. That is worth posting on your wall: GIVE THEM EVIDENCE. LET THEM INFER.

You can chase down the evidence by repeatedly asking yourself, "How do you know?" The answers will eventually hit bottom.

In normal life, the thoughts, emotions, motivations, and intentions of others are private and can only be inferred from observable behavior or direct report. These are both evidence, but direct report doesn't always (or usually) work in a scene. Having a character report their internal states spoils the fun.

"Andy was angry" is completely inferential. The only way you could conclude that Andy was angry is by inference. You can get a reader to infer that Andy is angry by giving evidence.

"Andy looked angry" is partly evidentiary. It tells you Andy's appearance. A reader could also infer that Andy is angry from Andy's saying that he is angry (while looking plain or talking on the phone), from Andy's slamming a door, etc.

"Andy looked angry" is bad because it doesn't get to the root evidence. Anger isn't something that you can witness directly. It's something you infer from context and a range of behaviors.

How do you know that Andy looked angry? If there's a new answer to this, you haven't reached bottom. A possible answer is, "Andy scrunched his eyebrows together," which is bottom/root evidence. How do you know that Andy scrunched his eyebrows together? Well, because you saw him scrunch his eyebrows together. There's no new evidence. You've hit bottom.

There's still lots of other evidence that someone is angry. Put Andy in a situation that would make most people angry, such as being cheated, openly insulted, or punched in the face. Establish a pattern of behavior that means Andy is angry; perhaps he always gets quiet when angry.

If you want to improve upon "Andy looked angry", you are confining yourself to visual facts about Andy's appearance from the start, so the answer is easy: you must give visual clues. In this case, you might try consulting "The Emotion Thesaurus" by Ackerman and Puglisi.

If visual clues don't satisfy you, look to context or the other senses.

You can also prime a reader for a particular inference, especially by making them feel something you want attributed to a character. Introduce anger into the environment or use terms with violent connotations just before the information about Andy. Compare "The subway doors banged shut. Andy crinkled his brow." to "The subway doors eased shut. Andy crinkled his brow."

A "like" simile is just a shortcut; it lets you skip to another description and feeling. One of the best I've read ("as if to shoo away gnats") is from Tobias Wolff's "This Boy's Life":

Sister James had been about to say something. Her mouth was open. She looked at the arrow I was aiming at her, then looked at me. In her presence my thoughtlessness forsook me. I knew exactly what I had been doing. We stood like that for a time. Finally I pointed the arrow at the ground. I unnotched it and started to make some excuse, but she closed her eyes at the sound of my voice and waved her hands as if to shoo away gnats.

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