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Topic : How to write a scene that needs a lot of detail without falling into purple prose? I understand the "only describe what is necessary" rule. If a character's appearance is important, I'll describe - selfpublishingguru.com

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I understand the "only describe what is necessary" rule. If a character's appearance is important, I'll describe it in moderation. But what if I'm writing a scene that needs a lot of description? What if the main character of my story, who is a strict vegan, stumbles into a slaughterhouse? My MC would definitely see every detail... but how do I describe every detail without falling into purple prose?

If possible, could you provide a line or two of examples? Or maybe a "what to do" vs. "what not to do" sort of thing?


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Supporting Digital Dracula's excellent answer, don't be afraid to leave out details which have a long shelf life. Revulsion, for example, is not likely to leave your character in the moment he leaves the killing room. If your scene demands detailed and emotion-inducing descriptions, leave your character's emotions unspoken until a quieter, less word-bound moment. Instead, use your words to assault the reader's senses, unfiltered by either your character's perspective or a distant third-person POV. Just drop the facts of the scene on the page in simple sentences, cold truths.

John walked carefully on the stained floor, dark blood congealing into the his shoes with every step. Gears grind constantly in the background. The clang of metal striking metal abuses his ears. Metal on flesh and bone sounds worse. Under it all, the desperate cries of the animals, waiting to die.

Then when both the reader and John escape that horrifying room, you can reflect on John's emotional reaction.


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