One of your responses to a comment:

For me, alliteration has the same function as a simile or a metaphor; makes the prose "livelier".

Regardless whether the prose is "lively" or not, people will still think it jarring or too "purpley" or have no reason to be included. Alliteration, in particular, is a fairly blunt tool. It stands out. It can be used comedically; in Harry Potter there are characters who, by dint of the impishness of the magical world in general, can be called "Quirinus Quirrell" and we just titter sensibly at another funny alliteration in this strange new world.

If that sort of thing seems like it "fits" your world as and can be consistently introduced to induce a particular effect (like with HP the strangeness of the alliteration stands out, it's meant to)... then by all means.

But many, many people will notice it. I wouldn't recommend it, and focusing on it might lead you to sloppy descriptions where you're just wondering which words fit together comma after comma, when there may be more appropriate ways to display imagery.

She always felt frosty after failed fornication.

It stands out sharply. If I read this I would re-read it. Probably multiple times. It's tongue-trippy in a way that I will always notice. Four out of five words start with "f", the "after" has a distinctive "f" sound.

It's like that sentence which is just the word "buffalo" and because of some strange magic it makes sense if you twist every definition of the word.

Unrequested help, but something I noticed with your writing.

It seems the "Aru" character is the Main Character. I began writing almost always starting a paragraph with He, or She, or the character's name, or They, or It.

I found this everywhere I looked in my writing. Once I started looking specifically it appeared everywhere. And before I noticed, I was blind to it.

It's invisible when you're writing; of course, why shouldn't I start the paragraphs with something like that? I want the reader to follow the character exactly. However we're in the character's head already (usually), so adding He and She and Aru just takes over paragraphs that could be more concisely written.

Below is where I first came across this:

How to avoid repetitive sentence structure?

---

(0)

Login to post a comment!