: Re: Is this description of my small productivity application clear enough? I wrote a small productivity application, Tomate. Since I'm not a native English speaker, I'm afraid the description of the

@Dunderdale623

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What you have here is a story. I think the writing is good. The text is ideal for an about page.

However, I think your true goal is getting people to use the application. Sorry if I am making a bad assumption.

To influence people online you need to get to the point immediately. And you need to talk to them about them, not about yourself. Look at the number of times you use the word 'I' in your story.

Start with one or two sentences about why the person reading this right now needs to stop and download and try your application immediately. Ideally, you describe what problem your app solves, then the main reason how your particular app solves it (and how it is different from similar apps).

Then offer a sentence or two about yourself and why you built the app and who the app is for.

Then dive into your story, though if your app is free you should offer the download button right away and then dive into your story and offer your download button again at the end.

Example:

The Real Reason You Do Not Get Things Done - And The Three Second Simple Fix

You fail because you do not start tasks and stayed focused on them. So you never finish anything. My free app, Tomate, makes you accountable to the most important person in the world: you. It works in just seconds:

[Download button]

[Full story]

[Download button]

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