: Re: Facial expressions as part of dialogue - getting rid of a verbal tic I noticed a verbal tic in my writing: He looked surprised He looked confused He looked abashed Sometimes

Noticing it is the first step.

Your line: â€œI- I thought I was being polite,â€ he mumbled.
is enough.

You don't need to say the prince looked abashed. You are already conveying his uncertainty and concern over having done the wrong thing. He's stuttering a bit and mumbling. So leave out the abashed bit.

The "Prince looked confused" line is okay (or replace it with the prince saying "What?"). I'm more concerned with "the captain continued to explain." Just have him explain some more.

So you end up with:

â€œI- I thought I was being polite,â€ the prince mumbled.

â€œYou were. You chose your words and your compliments well. I looked at you, and I saw a prince, heir of [divine ancestor]. What I did not see is you.â€

[Prince's Name] looked confused.

"[More explanation.]"

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