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Topic : Re: Facial expressions as part of dialogue - getting rid of a verbal tic I noticed a verbal tic in my writing: He looked surprised He looked confused He looked abashed Sometimes - selfpublishingguru.com

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I agree with the other suggestions provided. Your problem, that you're catching, is that you are trying to show and tell the same sections simultaneously. You are telling us what the prince feels, while also showing us these things through the facial expressions and vocal tones. Ultimately it becomes redundant.

The good thing is that you're catching it already. If you want to, you can alternate between one and then the other, just don't continue using both simultaneously.

So in this exchange you might just say in there that he's mumbling or that his eyebrow raised (indicating confusion).

In the next scene, you may have a point where the prince is INTERNALLY feeling something and trying not to outwardly show it, so you go into his mind and let us know what's going on in there "He was confused by the captain's choice of words, but he was sick of appearing clueless, so he did his best to keep it suppressed."

This way, you can have a mix of both, that isn't redundant, so that your writing stays fresh. Otherwise, just stick to trying to SHOW and substitute the expressions for every "he was confused. He looked sternly. He said in surprise". If you really feel the need to stick to just one, this will be your most effective choice.


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