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Topic : Re: Is it a good idea to leave minor world details to the reader's imagination? As a writer, I used to write short stories and poems. As a reader, fantasy is my favorite genre. And I am currently - selfpublishingguru.com

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I think any fantasy story benefits greatly from in-universe terms that have no meaning to a reader. It gives us the very distinct impression we're not in Kansas anymore. But I also think this is a case where showing and telling is appropriate. And you need to be careful, because overuse can be a problem.

Don't just throw out a word. Saying "she dreamt of lillahs" tells me nothing. As you did in your example, adding a normal word or phrase beside it tells me approximately what it is, even if I don't know the details. "She dreamt of lillah birds" tells me what she's dreaming of, while adding that fantasy flair.
Only use such terms where it's useful. Don't just throw them into the text to make things seem alien. In your lillah bird example, the name of the bird is incidental to the fact that your subject is being calmed by listening to them. In the case of the flower pot, it seems more forced. In general, I would only use these terms where it would be important to the character in question.

Bad:

As Adam approached his house, memories of his late wife, Sue, flooded his mind. She had spent so much time caring for the place. Until the cancer set in.

Suddenly, Adam realized he hadn't yet moved from the sidewalk. Pushing the memories away, he hurried up the walkway to the front door. On the way past, he smelled the bettornim flowers that filled the pots along the driveway.… (Here, the flowers are just random details.)

Better:

As Adam approached his house, the scent of the bettornim flowers flooded his mind with memories of his late wife, Sue. She had spent so many hours tending to them in their pots along the driveway, caring for them almost as well as her children. Until the cancer set in.

Suddenly, Adam realized he hadn't yet moved from the sidewalk. Pushing the memories away, he hurried up the walkway to the front door… (Here, the flowers are explicitly acting on Adam, so we feel like they belong to the story.)

If you're going to use the terms more generically, I would tend to use them from a character's perspective, rather than from the narrator's perspective. This makes it feel more like we're hearing these terms because we're in an alien world, and less like the writer is trying to shove fantasy down our throats.

Really Bad:

The man rode up on his unctun with his many dites glittering like thajva gems in the wind. Here, we know the man arrived, and there's something glittering, but we really don't know anything else. Is an unctun a type of animal? Vehicle? Elevator? What about dites, and why do we care how they compare to some gem?

Bad:

The man rode up on his horse, with his many scarves glittering like thajva gems in the wind. Here, we at least know what's going on, and that his scarves are (for some reason we should probably explain better) glittering like something that probably glitters a lot. But the comparison seems a bit forced.

Better:

His purple eyes glittered magnificently in the sunlight -- Tatya likened them to freshly-polished thajva gems. Here, "magnificently" gives the reader Tatya's specific impression, and it is Tatya, not the narrator, likening them to thajva gems.

Selena gushed as she beheld his kingly, purple eyes, "Oh! Your eyes glitter like a thousand thajva gems in the sunlight!" Again, we've added Selena's impression of his eyes rather than simply describe them as "purple", and we're explicitly quoting her in the comparison.

If you're going to use certain terms extensively -- for example, the thajva gem plays a very important part in the local economy -- use a word that's short and easy to pronounce. My examples may not make sense in your native language since you will be used to different sounds than an English-speaker would normally use. I think thajva is a pretty good example itself, though the "jv" letter pairing is a bit weird to an English speaker.

Bad:

The thasagoriaphogleron gems were a staple of the local community, and the group knew they'd need to get their hands on some. "Excuse me, sir," Stephan queried a nearby shopkeeper, "where is the nearest exchange to convert my galactic credits to thasagoriaphogleron gems?" This is just obnoxious, especially if you're going to see the word every other paragraph.

Better:

The thasron gems, claimed by certain uppity scientific circles to be properly referred to as thasagoriaphogleron gems, were a staple of the local community, and the group knew they'd need to get their hands on some. "Excuse me, sir," Stephan queried a nearby shopkeeper, "where is the nearest exchange to convert my galactic credits to thasron gems?" Here, we've put the "proper" term in, given a little more flair to the universe, and made it clear "thasron" isn't the scientific name, but are now free to use a nice word the reader can easily say and remember throughout the rest of the story.


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