: Re: How to realistically describe pain? So, I was doing a writing excersie, I came up with, to help me with sentence structuring and developing my style. One thing, I ran into, however, was that

@Martha805

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I don’t feel that you have to experience intense near-death pain, describe it and be concerned that it would disingenuous. Why? Because your point of view is omniscient subjective. You are the narrator and the voice of the story. In my opinion, your paragraph does an excellent job telling us from your point of view as narrator what Gyvaris may be experiencing and thinking while the knight impales Gyvaris.

On the other hand, what if you were writing this story in Gyvaris’ point of view as opposed to your point of view as a narrator? In that case, you would narrate from Gyvaris’ point of view and convey the experience through Gyvaris’ action, thoughts, feeling and speech.

In either case the experience is written in context to the point of view. Again, in my opinion, I like what you have already. The only changes I might suggest is changing the first sentence. If it has been established who the knight is, at this point in time, in the story, then use the knight’s name. It seems like we know that Gyvaris is the dragon, so use Gyvaris name instead of dragon. First sentence could read like this:

Sir Debin sunk his sword deep into Gyvaris’s chest.

Also you make good use of some pattern of motivation reaction units too in the paragraph. I like that. Good job.

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