: Re: Maintaining distance I am working on a novel inspired by the Shahnameh - a Persian epic poem by Abul-QÃ¢sem Ferdowsi. The Shahnameh (the title means "The Book of Kings") is structured as a

Look at every sentence and ask if it has a judgmental quality. Add judgment to tighten distance, and remove judgment to increase distance.

Judgment is very close third, because judgment is individualized.

Your example:

The King liked and loved this lady well, and he made them great cheer
out of measure, and desired to have lain by her. (Sir Thomas Mallory,
Le Morte Darthur, the Winchester manuscript, edited by Helen Cooper,
Oxford University Press)

^^Would be closer third as:

The lady was desirable and well so, and he made great cheer. He would
give his kingdom, nay his very life, to lay with her.

and more distant third as:

Her flaxen hair, her shapely form. He made great cheer and lay with
her.

Try to remove individual judgment from your viewpoint character, to increase distance.

Also, add filter phrases.

The King found this lady likable, and he made them great cheer
out of measure, and desired to have lain by her. (Sir Thomas Mallory,
Le Morte Darthur, the Winchester manuscript, edited by Helen Cooper,
Oxford University Press)

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