: Re: Is the following passage confusing? They following is from a short story I'm writing. The main character and his friend are sitting in a bar while discussing about the the former's wife:

@Carla500

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It makes sense, though I think there's a lot of repetition that doesn't add to the message. 'I watched' and then 'I fixed my eyes on it' relays the same information.

I think (in equal amounts) also takes away from the strength of your statement because it's information not needed to get the analogy across.

It might also be good to change the wording from "when you grab.. you get" to the character reflecting about when they have done that. If the character themselves is contemplating the nature of good/evil in himself, I think it's appropriate to link the mixture of paint to their own personal experience instead of the objective-scientific view of saying 'you'.

The reflection of the glass is something that character internalizes to their own experience, and the mixing of the paint is externalized as something that happens to other people. Does the character think his own experiences are light and white, while the experiences of others are black/paint? I'm thinking along the lines of judging oneself by their intentions, and others by their behaviors.

I'm probably reading too into it - but I wanted to give you a thorough, honest opinion. I liked the piece too!

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