: Re: Are the following passages examples of tense change? Are they allowed in fiction writing? We reached the place a few minutes later, which turned out to be—a record store?

@Chiappetta298

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I don't see any tense changes in your examples. It all appears to be in past tense. The reason the reader has the perception of the passages happening in present tense is due to the narrator presenting their rendition of the events in the way a storyteller would.

To clarify, your examples give the impression of somebody telling a story around a campfire, where the speaker would add pauses and dramatic realizations to build up the listener's interest. The text emphasis only increases the overall of effect of "we're being physically told a story right now by someone who experienced it." Your use of caps lock and dashes and exclamation points generally amplify that effect by giving the impression of someone YELLING REALLY LOUD or... having a dramatic pause... or becoming really excited! Wow!

Anyway, that's all totally fine. Keep at it if you like it. Although, be warned about the overuse of gimmicky text effects unless if you're absolutely positive you can pull it off-- it's somewhat annoying to your average reader.

An alternative is to just tell the story entirely in present tense, as it happens. You might have to change a few things to transition the perception of events into real time.

We reach it a few minutes later. It looks like a record store from the outside.

The room is tiny but nice. Simple, and with the comfort and coziness of the countryside. Plus, it has everything we need: a
closet, a basic table, a bathroom, and only one bed.

You can also do a "stream of consciousness" sort of thing, as well.

Plus, it has everything we need: closet, a basic table, a bathroom,
and only one bed. Wait a sec, only one bed? That's a little odd.

I've known a few people who cannot stand present tense, but again, it's all up to personal taste and how you want to present your story.

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