: Is repeating the action/verb in a metaphor a sign that is a bad one? Example: She didn’t reply; just stared at us vacantly. She might as well have been observing two squirrels that
Example:
She didn’t reply; just stared at us vacantly.
She might as well have been observing two squirrels that had invaded
her yard.
As you can see, the action stare/observe has so be repeated for the metaphor to work. Is that a sign of a bad metaphor?
Should I write this instead?
She didn’t reply; just stared at us vacantly.
I suddenly felt as if we were two squirrels that had invaded
her yard.
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Is that a sign of a bad metaphor?
No. It's fine.
And of course you're the author - it's up to you what you write. From this point of view there are no 'bad' metaphors.
But I know what you mean and no, your example would not usually be considered poor English usage.
You may be thinking of (in-)elegant variation or pleonasm.
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