bell notificationshomepageloginNewPostedit profile

Topic : Is repeating the action/verb in a metaphor a sign that is a bad one? Example: She didn’t reply; just stared at us vacantly. She might as well have been observing two squirrels that - selfpublishingguru.com

10.01% popularity

Example:

She didn’t reply; just stared at us vacantly.
She might as well have been observing two squirrels that had invaded
her yard.

As you can see, the action stare/observe has so be repeated for the metaphor to work. Is that a sign of a bad metaphor?

Should I write this instead?

She didn’t reply; just stared at us vacantly.
I suddenly felt as if we were two squirrels that had invaded
her yard.


Load Full (1)

Login to follow topic

More posts by @Goswami879

1 Comments

Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best

10% popularity

Is that a sign of a bad metaphor?

No. It's fine.

And of course you're the author - it's up to you what you write. From this point of view there are no 'bad' metaphors.

But I know what you mean and no, your example would not usually be considered poor English usage.

You may be thinking of (in-)elegant variation or pleonasm.


Load Full (0)

Back to top