: Re: How much information should a narrative sentence contain ,from experience on average, for good readability? While randomly browsing, i noticed fiction writings contain much more comas in their sentences

Determining how much, and what information you pass through your sentences is a very important subliminal channel of information about the speaker, their character, current situation and mood.

If you merely use it to optimize readability, you will crop a lot of flavour of the text just in order to pass verbatim data. It's like you took a painting and tried to determine which contrast settings make it most readable. Of course pulling the contrast way up, making all detail stand out sharply will make the painting very readable. It will also murder any dreamy atmosphere, tricks of light or moods it conveys. You optimize for information and kill all the feelings.

Think from perspective of the speaker, how would they convey their impressions. A battle-hardened, disciplined soldier will use terse, precise report-style sentences conveying facts, but not impressions. A romantic lady will use florid metaphors and concentrate on impressions. A person suffering from depression will focus on dreary aspects. A child will express awe and sometimes use similes that seem outright bizarre. A person tired will use short, succint sequences. A bore with big ego will extend bare scraps of actual information with endless pleonasms. A person with passion will express that passion, delving into fascinating, little known details.

Do not aim at optimizing readability. Aim at expressing the character.

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: Think of everything in the story in terms of "actors". Do they appear near enough to be confusable? Do they appear in contexts where one can be confused with the other? In your case

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: What is this 'pretend dialogue' technique called There's a style that is popular on blogs, and takes the form of a dialogue between the reader and the author, where the author provides both

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: Use of Building names in Fiction I know that using branded companies names is a no no if shown in a negative light, but what is the "legal" Stance on Buildings that get damaged/blown up/fist

: Re: How much information should a narrative sentence contain ,from experience on average, for good readability? While randomly browsing, i noticed fiction writings contain much more comas in their sentences

More posts by @Dunderdale623

: Are newlines effective for adding weight to certain phrases? Sometimes I'll write something where there's a few paragraphs of buildup, then a "whammy line" or two. I wrote a quick example, pretend

: Think of everything in the story in terms of "actors". Do they appear near enough to be confusable? Do they appear in contexts where one can be confused with the other? In your case

: What is this 'pretend dialogue' technique called There's a style that is popular on blogs, and takes the form of a dialogue between the reader and the author, where the author provides both

: Use of Building names in Fiction I know that using branded companies names is a no no if shown in a negative light, but what is the "legal" Stance on Buildings that get damaged/blown up/fist

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