: Re: Should you "Show, Don't Tell" when your character is recounting events? "Show, don't tell" is a popular ethos amongst writers, and one that is very important to writing engaging stories. However,

@Correia211

Vote Up Vote Down

Telling is most appropriate when the events are not important to the story.

They can be transitional and probably use few(er) words.
For example:

After she fell into the pool, they went inside while she changed her
clothes.

@DanHanly said:

Her perception of the event in this case, is perhaps more important to
the story than the actual event itself.

A Solid Clue

That should be a clue to yourself that this is what should be shown. It is what you, the author, are saying is important to the story. That means you want the reader to experience it as if s/he were living the events. That means you want to act this part out in front of the reader.

However, the challenge you have here is that a lot of what Lana is going through is internalization and that is difficult to act out. However, it is possible.

Deep Imagination Required

To do so, first of all you must put yourself in the place of Lana. What if you were overwhelmed by something you were thinking? How might you move or act. Maybe something like the following:

Lana looked up from the sink of dishes she was washing. She stared at
a bubble floating free of the sink and her mouth turned up in a slight
smile. As suddenly as the bubble had floated up, it plummeted back to
the faucet where it landed and burst. At the same moment Lana burst
into silent tears.
She shook her head. "It's too much," she thought.
"How much pain must I bear?"

She threw the dish rag she held into the sink and the water splashed
out onto the top of her foot, soaking through her sock.

(0)

Login to post a comment!