: Re: Overabundance of punctuation, too many pauses, like this title I have a writing style which relies heavily on pauses, specifically commas and periods. I like to put them everywhere but I am

The language in your question is very clear and doesn't seem to use the staccato approach found in your example sci-fi piece. Why not write your sci-fi piece with your natural language, that you seem to have used for your question?

I believe that would solve your problem, because you seem to be a clear concise writer -- from your question's example.

If you're looking for more than that then I suggest you read the fantastic book, Make Your Words Work -- amazon link, by the late Gary Provost.

He teaches very clearly about tone and style and it is quite helpful.

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: What science fiction sub-genre is my novel? I've written a science fiction book that has a strong feel of "fantasy." Three quarters of the story is in a medieval/primitive kingdom type settings

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: The best thing to do with the critism is to not attract yourself. There will be some who like your pieces and there will be those who don't. As for your question, if you are expected

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: Am I making the writing too complex? My story is of a fantasy world where the wars of several species have all been fought, lost, and the protagonist is writing his journal from inside a

: Re: Overabundance of punctuation, too many pauses, like this title I have a writing style which relies heavily on pauses, specifically commas and periods. I like to put them everywhere but I am

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: What science fiction sub-genre is my novel? I've written a science fiction book that has a strong feel of "fantasy." Three quarters of the story is in a medieval/primitive kingdom type settings

: How do I explain a lack of sufficient data in my essay? In the essay that I'm writing, I claim that women are more likely to be victims of abduction than are men. As evidence, I cite a

: The best thing to do with the critism is to not attract yourself. There will be some who like your pieces and there will be those who don't. As for your question, if you are expected

: Am I making the writing too complex? My story is of a fantasy world where the wars of several species have all been fought, lost, and the protagonist is writing his journal from inside a

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