: Re: Very long sentences: personal style or just bad writing? I'm writing a story targeted towards children in which the protagonist is a young girl. I find that in writing her dialog and the narrative,

Young narrators often think, and string their sentences together, paratactically -- short independent clauses joined by conjunctions: We went to the zoo and we saw a lion and then we saw a monkey and the monkey threw some bananas at the people and we thought it was funny but then he ran at the bars and screamed and I was scared . . . " That's a pretty young narrator.

The older the narrator is, the more they will tend toward hypotaxis -- embedding one idea within another, using independent and subordinate clauses, and so on.

Of course, there will be something in between, depending on the age of the narrator. I think the notion of following the stream of consciousness works here.

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: Re: Very long sentences: personal style or just bad writing? I'm writing a story targeted towards children in which the protagonist is a young girl. I find that in writing her dialog and the narrative,

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