: Angry tone of voice in a question I am writing a story about friendly lions. It all starts with this 1 friendly lion searching for nomadic lionesses. His name is Anapumua Moto. He has a cheetah
I am writing a story about friendly lions. It all starts with this 1 friendly lion searching for nomadic lionesses. His name is Anapumua Moto. He has a cheetah friend named Duma and a leopard friend named Bella. It then goes into that 1 pride splitting again and again until the friendly lions took over lion territory. The next chapter goes more into the changes in lion society that result and a coalition of 2 lions searching for a pride. Their names are Tau and Banda. When they come across a lioness named Simba that already has cubs, she is still afraid of the cubs being killed even though she knows that all the lions are friendly now.
So naturally in an angry tone of voice she asks "Why are you here? And what is that leopard doing?"
Tau and Banda say in a nice tone of voice "We didn’t mean to anger you. We were just searching for lionesses. Anapumua Moto did that years ago and his friendliness genes passed on to us. Bella is our leopard friend and she hunts for us as we search for lionesses. We roar whenever she wonders where we are."
That conversation then goes into things like what will happen when they have a large pride and ends with Simba saying "Okay. Lets do this." when she is confident that Tau and Banda won't kill the cubs and that having leopards and cheetahs as friends in case the lionesses are tired is great.
I want to let readers know that Simba is angry before Tau and Banda apologize for angering her. So what should I do if I want to add anger to a question that a character is asking?
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Simba's face darkened, his brow wrinkling, a lip drawing back in a snarl. "You!" he spat through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here?"
You can better show the emotion and set the emotional tone for the reader. My example might be a bit windy, but I hope you get the idea.
:)
I agree with Saberwriter. You could write:
".......", she growled.
Or something like:
"..........," she said, her face darkening.
Or add something like: The irritation in her tone/face/voice was palpable.
The simple way is to add an action tag before the dialogue.
Something like the following might work
Simba frowned and let out a growl. ""Why are you here? And.."
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