: Re: Past perfect in past tense narrative: When to use and when not to? I always get confused about whether to use past perfect in past tense narrative. Example: I went back home that weekend

@Courtney562

Vote Up Vote Down

When I find myself typing had too many times I treat it as a symptom of either too much exposition, too much laboured logic, or too much effort invested in justifying the 'now'. At this point I've probably delved (as you have) into negative storytelling, and probably deviated too far from plot or character.
First thing I look at is whether I should go back and make the thing happen in the proper timeline. Rather than say 'she had painted her face blue' in chapter 5, can I say 'she painted her face blue' back in chapter 3? Or can I just cut it all and say, 'Sheila showed up with a blue face, and I never found out why.' Or can I use character to explain the state of things. 'Sheila showed up with a painted blue face, and warned me not to discuss the football results until she could get it all off.'
In your case. Does the reader really need to know how the dog ended up hanging from a tree? In this case I suspect they do, so retell it in a more immediate fashion. e.g.

I went back home that weekend to help Mom with our dog's burial. I found him in a stuff sack hanging on one of the zelkova trees that bordered the yard.
'What the heck, Mom?' I said.
'I was worried about flies, and pests, and I don't know what. What am I supposed to do?'

(0)

Login to post a comment!