: In present-tense narrative, does "I spend the NEXT few hours..." make sense? I was directed to the writers stackexchange from the English/grammar forums. I'm writing a novel in present-tense.

: What's the most natural way to show a passage of time between the prologue and chapter one? In my current novel, the protagonist is driven forward throughout the plot by events that happened

: What is the purpose of using Roman numerals as page numbers? I'm in the process of writing a dissertation for my university degree. I have looked at examples online where people have used Roman

: Which one and why: (alphabets and integers sets) OR (alphabets set and integers set)? Consider the two phrases: alphabets and integers sets alphabets set and integers set Are both grammatically

Login to post a comment!

4 Comments

Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best

@Radia543

I think a simple rewrite of the sentence will solve your problem:

"Over the next few hours, I think about what life might be like living in Hawaii. I could be surfing waves, but instead, I'm cleaning grease traps for Pizza Hut."

However, you're inherently messing with your timeline with the expression "next few hours." It will push you into present perfect or future tenses--or just sound awkward and slow down your reader. You can roll with it:

"I ponder it, and I ponder it some more. In fact, hours slip by thinking about that North Coast surf and the pina colada sunsets."

@Debbie451

The only issue I have with it is that it sounds bookish â€”Â it's a narrative device. So if your character is telling this story to the reader, even if it's in the present, you'd be okay. You can particularly get away with more when it's a first-person present-tense POV, because the narration is "spoken" in the character's voice, and you have more flexibility.

I stare at John, the fall of light on his hair, wonder if it would be okay if I approached him. I spend the next few hours pondering about it, until Molly finds me at the cafÃ© still staring at the table where he'd been sitting.

But if it's a third-person present-tense POV, I wouldn't use it. It would throw me out of the story.

He stares at John and the fall of light on his hair, wondering if it would be okay if he approached him. He spends the next few hours pondering about it, until Molly finds him at the cafÃ© still staring at the table where John had been sitting.

@Sims2267584

This is one of the problems I have with writing in present tense, and why it can be difficult for authors to do it well. There are just certain narrative constructions that don't really work when trying to put them together in present tense.

That said, you can accomplish what you're trying to do by telling it from the other side, time-wise. Instead of what your original sentence does which is use time A as "now" and states that the character is thinking until time B, try using time B as "now" and have the character realize they've been thinking since time A.

Three hours I've been sitting here, lost in my thoughts, and I'm no closer to figuring out what I should do than when I started.

@Frith254

This seems fine, just make sure that you pick up the timeline of events at the end of the 'few hours' spent pondering, or provide detail of relevant events or thoughts inside that window of pondering.

The flashback version of the sentence would be: "I spent the last few hours pondering about it."

You're good.