: Re: How to describe pain in first person? (Made up character) Farrel jumps from his rambler house roof but lands horizontally and on his left arm. His left arms ulna snaps and pierces out of his

@Deb2945533

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The writing of this passage depends on what you intend to underline; is the character under a lot of stress or would he rather describe the scene factually, as though detached from what he's experiencing ?

If the scene intends to underline the horror of the moment, stick as closely as you can to what the character might be thinking/feeling at the time; at this level of pain, perception dwindles down to the most basic form of sensation :

Searing pain, and my vision goes blind. I can't breathe. I can't move, and my head is spinning, threatening to shut down althogether. (...)

If you intend to focus on what happens next, a more detached approach might be useful.

I looked down. There was a rebar sticking out of my stomach.

And then move on directly, as though it were just an offhand comment. On many occasions characters (as well as real people) don't react to trauma the 'natural' way; it's an interesting thing to play on, especially since you're writing in first person.

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