: Re: How to describe pain in first person? (Made up character) Farrel jumps from his rambler house roof but lands horizontally and on his left arm. His left arms ulna snaps and pierces out of his

I often describe the reaction to the pain and the action causing the pain more than the pain itself. You can say that it's agony, anguish, a tribulation, but it won't have an impact unless you focus specifically on what causes it.

Focus on the sound of the words. Surge, gouge, sear, smolder, snap, plunge, slice, saw, splatter. I would also use thrust, but that has a completely different meaning that you probably don't want to touch here. You don't want passive words, you want words with a connotation of destruction. This type of pain won't be silent, either, and immediately extreme pain probably won't register. Describe the wet crunch and then the surge of pain as 'your' bone plunges through flesh. 'You' grapple for the injury (people hold onto broken limbs somewhat instinctively) and blood splatters all over 'you', smearing when 'you' try to stop it. 'You' strangle a cry in 'your' throat when the limb shifts unnaturally under 'your' desperate grip, pain slicing through twitching, torn muscles.

For me, there was an uncanny valley effect. When I broke my arm, I didn't feel pain until I looked down at my two wrists, where there was only supposed to be one. The second 'wrist' contorted unnaturally, bent shards of bone scraping over muscles. When it started to hurt, I couldn't see anything anymore, but the pain wasn't going away after my brain registered the horror of what had happened. I'm just glad it wasn't a compound fracture.

Depending on 'your' persona, maybe add a few swear words.

Don't hurt yourself, but the next time you do, write it down, or at least think up some words for it. If you can't think of anything more than $#!%, that's okay, because your character probably won't be able to think much more than $#!% once the pain really starts.

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: Re: How to describe pain in first person? (Made up character) Farrel jumps from his rambler house roof but lands horizontally and on his left arm. His left arms ulna snaps and pierces out of his

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