: Re: seeking a humorous example of long winded paragraph one sentence long Back in the day, good writing meant it was a goal to make sentences short. As I have grown older this rule has served

@Sarah872

Vote Up Vote Down

You want the Bulwer-Lytton contest, an annual event recognizing the worst possible first sentence for a novel. The contest was organized in tribute to Edward Bulwer-Lytton's infamously long-winded and awkward opening sentence for his book Paul Clifford:

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

Here are a couple of finalist from 2015:

Portly, abrupt Bart Simeon plodded through the citadel with a bearing of tension and anger that was like a tinderbox lying by a roadside waiting for a careless motorist to toss his or her cigarette butt out the window, most likely the passenger if the container lay on the right side of the road, or perhaps the driver with a brusque flick to the left, unless of course if they were in England, in which case it would be the opposite. - Anthony Hahn
I knew that dame was damaged goods when she first sauntered in, and I don't mean lightly scratched and dented goods that a reputable merchant like Home Depot might offer in a clearly marked end display sale; no, she was more like the kind of flashy trashy plastic knockoff that always carries a child-choking hazard that no self-respecting 11-year-old Chinese sweat shop kids would ever call theirs. — Tom Billing

(0)

Login to post a comment!