: Re: Building empathy with a character and interest in a story I've written several chapters of a (fiction) story. I wasn't happy so I spent some time reading about fiction, and trying to figure

@Mendez196

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OK, I think I have the roles within your story correct, but I'll restate them so that you can correct me if I'm wrong:

Protagonist

Goes to a small town, and later wants to leave but can't. Knows that someone else in the town has died, thinks that they may or may not be next.

Antagonist

Doesn't want the protagonist in the town, so kills someone else in the town for an unspecified reason in order to get rid of the protagonist. This doesn't work, so now wants to kill the protagonist.

Reader

Knows that there is a killer, but doesn't know that the killer is after the protagonist. Knows that the protagonist wants to survive this ordeal, and knows that the protagonist is stuck there and why.

You could always make your protagonist into someone who is generally anxious/ obsessive/ paranoid. Perhaps when they arrive into the town they visit the pharmacy and because of the strange look they receive off of the pharmacist they believe that they may have swapped the medicine they needed for poison/ placebos/ experimental or untested drugs.

Following patterns like this would mean that the reader begins to doubt the internal thought process of the protagonist, so that when they find out that someone has died in town and the protagonist believes that they are next, the reader won't actually believe it, but think it is another obvious delusion. The kicker comes later when it is proven the protagonist was actually correct, and the assumptions the reader made were wrong.

This could provide more empathy for the main character, as the reader will see the character heading down (what they perceive to be) a self-destructive path of paranoia. This could be through fear to leave the house, pushing away friends because they do not trust them etc. Whilst the reader feels sorry for this person as they cannot help the way they feel, seeing it unfold externally will be tragic as the reader will want to dive into the book and tell them that everything will be alright, they don't need to be so scared. That is until they realize the character was right all along.

Another option could be to make it so that the protagonist can leave. Rather than them being stuck, have something going on in the town that makes them want to stay. This could be from harboring a love interest, wanting to attend an event that is happening soon, or maybe their car is broken down but they could still get the train out of Dodge.

This way, the protagonist will have to wrestle with the internal struggle of having the option to leave. As they are not entirely sure that they are in danger, the reader can experience the indecision of the character between how unsafe they believe they are, and how much they want to stay. They could even be sat at the train station ready to go, but then realizes when the train arrives that it would be crazy to leave early on an unfounded suspicion that they may be the next to be killed.

Then later when they are entirely certain that the killer is after them, the opportunity to leave has passed and they are stuck there, as there are no more trains, or they are snowed in.

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