: Re: Concepts for more interesting introductions in papers What are the key concepts for writing introductory text more interesting to the reader? An example: The Deutsche Bahn AG is the company

@Jessie137

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1) Both of the examples you provide contain phrases that have converted verbs into noun phrases. Revert the phrases back into their verb form. For example:

Before: The Deutsche Bahn AG is the company with the most energy consumption in Germany.

After: Deutsche Bahn AG consumes more energy than any other company in Germany.

2) Illustrate the enormity of the problem. Use a number, a comparison and/or an analogy to make the issue real and tangible to your audience. For example:

A quantity: In 2014, its rail, bus, trucking, and airfreight operations consumed the 15 Million Gigajoules, which is equivalent to N tonnes of oil.

A comparison: This is more than the next 10 largest consumers of energy in Germany combined, including Mercedes-Benz, Siemens, etc.

If you are trying to persuade, appeal to your audience's logic, emotions, and morality (logos, pathos, ethos).

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