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Topic : Re: Handling small bits of background story I have a scene in which two characters are introduced to the reader. They met once before at a party, prior to the start of the story. In the following - selfpublishingguru.com

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Its a teensy bit awkward to me, possibly because I have an extreme aversion to past perfect ('He had made...')
The gag about the milk is a good one, but the exchange would probably be better if the ginger-kale juice were introduced in a comeback (either witty or awkward) rather than reaching into the past for an explanation.
For example...

“Oh yes. Jake Hayden. The guy who thinks chocolate milk is a health drink.”
Jake’s mouth froze in place. Last time they met, he was drinking a chocolate protein beverage. "So says the girl," he said, "last seen trying to get drunk on ginger-kale juice?"

Apologies for changing the nature of the exchange (and the party) but hopefully you can see it's a bit clearer and more immediate. You can probably think of a more appropriate response for Jake.


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