: Re: Handling small bits of background story I have a scene in which two characters are introduced to the reader. They met once before at a party, prior to the start of the story. In the following
Its a teensy bit awkward to me, possibly because I have an extreme aversion to past perfect ('He had made...')
The gag about the milk is a good one, but the exchange would probably be better if the ginger-kale juice were introduced in a comeback (either witty or awkward) rather than reaching into the past for an explanation.
For example...
“Oh yes. Jake Hayden. The guy who thinks chocolate milk is a health drink.â€
Jake’s mouth froze in place. Last time they met, he was drinking a chocolate protein beverage. "So says the girl," he said, "last seen trying to get drunk on ginger-kale juice?"
Apologies for changing the nature of the exchange (and the party) but hopefully you can see it's a bit clearer and more immediate. You can probably think of a more appropriate response for Jake.
More posts by @Karen856
: First off: Since you exclude rape from the possible sources of trauma for your heroine, I don't think any other trauma is exclusively female, unless you go for the death of an unborn child.
: I'm unable to figure out the logical solution to a problem; how do I keep writing? I'm outlining the plot for a scifi screenplay. I have the main characters, premise, the first half of the
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © selfpublishingguru.com2024 All Rights reserved.