: Re: How to write a strong villain who isn't really present? I've been working on a quite large story for a while now, but going through my drafts I noticed one weakness: My villains are very

@Yeniel532

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Well let's look at this from the perspective of the Generals:

Whilst this object that could turn the tide of the war is obviously important, it might turn out to just be rumor, or might end up being so well hidden that neither side would ever find it. Therefore committing a significant number of soldiers to pursue the girl is a massive waste of resources. Particularly in a war that is so well balanced an extra squad in an important checkpoint could turn the tide of the battle.

No, the generals would send one, or at most two, small strike teams to hunt her down. Maybe even individual sleuths to follow her trail discretely and catch up to her. Sure, the troops would be on the lookout for women of her description, but they can't do an all out manhunt whilst there is a war to win.

So she would come to know her pursuers, or at least know they are on her trail and recognize them. Even if just rumors from towns (the local barkeep mentioning that there has been a tall man in a white hat asking around town about a girl who fits her description). This way, the antagonists become personal, because they are hunting her. She doesn't need to know their names, she just needs to know what to be on the lookout for.

As for the leaders, she might know their names as they may have won fame or renown from battles they have won. She might even catch a glimpse of them from afar. But as you say, they would not lead a hunt for her, they would be too busy fighting battles. But again, with them giving the order to find her, it would be personal to her that they have ordered her capture.

The best example I can think of is the movie Inglorious Bastards. Hans Landa hunts down and kills Shosanna's family, whilst she ends up escaping. She remembers exactly who he is years later, whilst he doesn't recognize her when she is sitting across the table from him. However, he is doing it under orders from Hitler, but it's still Hans that she hates.

It might not be personal to the hunters, they are just doing their jobs. But she would know exactly who they are. There is your antagonist. Maybe she meets one of the generals if she gets captured later on in the story, so even though no love would be lost, she would still only see them as the figurehead.

Edit: Entirely forgot to say that the white hat idea came from Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid, which is worth a watch if you haven't seen it as it features a similar antagonist scenario, with the main characters being hunted by a particular person/group.

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