: Re: How to find different ways to express things that happen to the reader? I am currently writing a "quest" (a sort of real time you are the hero adventure online) and find myself using the

@Murray831

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For the sensory input, instead of "you see/feel/smell/touch/taste," try moving the thing to the front of the sentence or phrase to make it the subject.

Instead of "You see a shiny red rock," try:

A shiny red rock glints in the gravel at the side of the road.

This presupposes (rather than stating explicitly) that the reader is looking at the red rock in the gravel at the side of the road. This sort of presupposition can lull the reader into the story.

Instead of "You feel the smooth silk curtain," try:

The silk of the curtain slides between your fingers, cool and smooth.

When you're describing inanimate things like this, it's sometimes difficult to find a good verb. But give it a try. You may not be able to eliminate all of instances of "you see," but you can get rid of a lot of them.

I can't think of how to reduce the actions. Maybe someone else can think of ways. If you can get rid of "you see," maybe the actions will seem less troublesome.

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