Commas in dialogue indicate pauses. So:

“You look after each other, okay, children?"
"I'll have a sparkling water, please, sir."

Interrupter commas (I'm sure there's a technical name for this and I've forgotten it — something like restrictive and non-restrictive clauses) are used for clarification.

"He and his elder sister, Evie, once looked after us..."

This means he has one elder sister, and her name is Evie. (The name Evie is non-restrictive here; if you removed it, the sentence would be okay because he only has one elder sister.)

"He and his elder sister Evie once looked after us..."

This means he has multiple elder sisters, and the one named Evie was the one who looked after us. (The name Evie is restrictive here — he has more than one elder sister, and you must specify which one.)

Same idea:

"I turn to see my friend, James Grand, walking towards me."

This emphasizes my friend, and James Grand clarifies that friend instead of some other friend. Non-restrictive.

"I turn to see my friend James Grand walking towards me."

This emphasizes James Grand, and my friend is sort of his title. Restrictive.

"We are attending our friends John and Crystal's engagement party."

I hate trying to sort out multiple possessives. Rewrite the sentence:

We are attending the engagement party of our friends, John and Crystal.

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