: Re: Using exclamation points in fiction I've heard some advice that you're only supposed to use an exclamation point every 100,000 words or so. I'm finding this advice very hard to follow; I've
Exclamation points should be used to create emphasis.
Firstly, I'd like to let out my opinion on that 100,000 word thing for exclamation points. I believe that the lot of it is nonsense. Use exclamation points when you believe it will benefit your writing. Its the same with chapter lengths, and everything else. Do not let these word count rules push you around, because its best to always do what you think will benefit your writing the most.
Exclamation points are used to create emphasis/tension in a piece. Use an exclamation mark when you wish to magnify a certain feeling, e.g. excitement, anger, anxiety. However, because the use of an exclamation mark is so powerful, I don't think you should use them all the time, only for the perfect situations.
Because of the use of an exclamation mark normally being magnification of feelings or emotions, I think that it would be best to not use one in your example. Instead, you could try saying something like this:
"Press the green button," Alice vehemently called to Frank for her final attempt of gaining his vacuous attention.
Normally, if you are writing about two characters calling to each other from a distance, you would not use an exclamation mark. Instead, I used the adverb vehemently to intensify the fact that they are far away, and Alice is most likely frustrated that she can't be heard.
If I were you, I would save exclamation marks for situations of extreme importance or magnification, requiring extra emotional power:
Kill me. I swear, kill me before I rip the goddamn gun out of your hand and do it myself!
That was a bit of an exaggerated example, but it gets the point across rather well.
I hope this helped you.
EDIT:
In you're rewrite, I think you need to put the description of the dialogue before the dialogue, so the reader will preemptively know how it sounds in their head.
Frank summoned the courage to shout as loud as he could. "Alice," he shouted, his voice ricocheting off the corridor walls.
By saying Frank is shouting before the dialogue begins, we know that this will be loud. I think that to further emphasis the loudness, we could try using effects like a echo off the walls.
"Hey?" he began, his voice searching for her. "Alice, can you hear me?"
Because you used hey, I believe there needs to be a question mark. The use of hey or a similar word, like eh creates a sense of confusion in the piece. Because Frank is confused as to why he she can't hear him, his voice searches for her. This could be a great way to begin some tension too.
Conclusion:
Describe the voice before the dialogue if you want him to shout. Possibly add further clarification by describing how the voice travels.
Use question words like hey to create tension.
Use 'volume' words in general like: crescendo, dissonance. In fact, if you wanted to say somewhere was already loud and your character was trying to speak over it, without exclamation marks you could say: his voice joined the overwhelming dissonance.
Remember, this is only my advice on how to achieve these effects. There are no other answers on this post, so use what you want.
I hope this edit helped you.
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