: Re: Describing a Character Traveling: Too much narrative? I am new to writing and I am trying to a write a novel. In the first chapter, my main character travels from her hometown to a different

@Barnes643

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A lot of the time, the answer is to cut this sort of thing out. That's because a lot of the time, things like this really only serve to fill space (or are there because the writer was afraid - for whatever reason - to leave the character unattended) and don't add anything to the story.

Judging from what you describe in your question, I don't think that's the case here.

Why? Because you have already hinted at two functions this description can serve in the story: firstly, to set up details that will be relevant later on; secondly, to give a sense of what the character is feeling as she moves to her new town.

Now, I get the impression that you feel the first of these two functions is fairly well fulfilled by what you've written, so, assuming I'm right (and if I am, that you are), I think the problem is probably with the second function the passage could (and arguably should) be serving.

I recommend going back through this description - editing or re-writing as required - paying particular attention to the emotion that your character is feeling, her state of mind, and the sort of things she would notice and attach significance to while making the transition from her old home to her new one.

I think if you can pin that down, the section won't feel extraneous. Instead, it'll be an integral part of how the story conveys the character's internal journey.

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