: Re: Critical review of blog post I wrote a blog post a long time back. For this post I chose a writing style very different from what I'd read or what I'd seen before. Some guys did criticize

@Goswami879

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You have some good ideas, and I think it's great that you're taking the time to experiment and explore. But in terms of writing style, I think you need to keep working.

The first paragraph opens with a cliche - "In times like these" - has there ever been a time when people DIDN'T think they were living in unusual times? You're right, your opening counts, and I think you could make this one count for more.

And then I like the idea of all the parallelism in the first paragraph, but you've got to be careful to make it fit. You start with "You find yourself", and then your first two items fit that structure "You find yourself in a strange city," "[You find yourself] miles away from college," but then you lose the structure. "[You find yourself] just swarming with people you don't know"? No. You started off describing yourself, but then you start describing the city, and then you start describing the people, etc. By the end of the list, I'm not really sure WHAT you're describing. Parallelism can be a really effective structure, and you're almost there, but you need to be a bit more disciplined about it. You could still keep most of the ideas, but break them down into tighter sentences.

And after that huge, flowing list, I wasn't too happy to see another use of the same stylistic device at the start of the next paragraph. Variety creates interest. Some short, tight sentences would be welcome there. The sentence "Today I choose to write about myself" really worked, for me, because it was such a break from the long, convoluted and not entirely clear sentences that came before it.

That's as far as I got. Good luck with it, and keep working!

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