: Re: Internal dialogue with a quick thinking first person narrator I have seen this in visual media, but not really in written media so I am sort of at a loss as to how to proceed. I am writing

@Dunderdale623

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While it's not incorrect per se, as a reader I'd likely dislike your story.

The effect of so much internal monologue is a glacial pace of the actual story progression. Unless the internal monologue actually makes good revelations and discoveries, it will quickly develop into a story pacing problem. While the problem of perception of the pauses in the story world can be reduced with writing techniques, this does nothing about actual pauses this forces upon the reader in the real time, between they get to morsels of actual progression.

There are readers who like this style. But they are not numerous. Huge majority will just get bored.

And since this is simultaneously the narrator and the protagonist, and it's an inherent trait of his character, it's pretty much unavoidable in this combination. If I were you, I'd rethink that entire setup. You're just digging yourself into a hole and making your life as a writer unreasonably difficult, because getting this setup right, without boring majority of readers half to death, you'll have to expend extraordinary effort to make each paragraph worthwhile. "I have this, here, spoon, and this, here, field. And I want to plow it with this spoon. How can I do this most efficiently?" Get a goddamned plow instead!

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