: Re: Is it best to make a description metaphorical, or upfront? Background I've had this question for a really long time. A lot of my work seems quite 'floaty' and 'old style' because I describe
There is no answer to this question. This isn't an either/or question, because either one can be appropriate, or inappropriate, depending on the situation.
If you're trying to write an action scene, you probably want to keep your descriptions short and to the point, to avoid bogging down your narrative. Compare
His gun was up in a moment and firing, three quick, precise shots, but Vader simply held up his hand, palm outward, and the bolts were absorbed harmlessly.
to
His gun flashed into his hand as if through hyperspace, leaping almost of its own accord up into the firing stance, and three times he fired at the towering black Gargoyle, like the three trench runs with which they had crippled the monster's Death Machine. But the gargoyle extended a single ghastly appendage and absorbed the shots more easily than a black hole swallowing light...*
One is punchy, quick, gets the point across; the other is elaborate, slow, and takes forever to get where it's going. On the other hand, if you're taking your time and setting a more contemplative mood, metaphor can be an incredibly powerful tool.
She had grey eyes, brown hair, and wore a black t-shirt
vs
Her storm-grey eyes mirrored the overcast above, while her brown hair blended seamlessly with the muddy road beside us. Her head almost seemed to float above the deep black of her t-shirt, disconnected from the rest.
or
Her eyes, grey as the stormy sky, flashed and sparkled like the stream beside us, and her earthy brown hair flew in the wind, and the darkness of her t-shirt barely disguised the curves of her body.
Any of these can work - it just depends what you're trying to do.
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