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: Re: Extra long descriptive paragraph This is one person describing the past behavior of another, who is absent, to two different people. One of the listeners knows the person who is being spoken
I'm going to answer a generalist version of this question:
How to deal with a rather long dialogue paragraph?
First of all, you must decide if you really want to have a single person talking non-stop. Personally I don't advise it.
Secondly, break it up and use one (or some) of the techniques below.
You can have the other people intervene with comments like 'Oh, dear! What did you do?' or 'I'd never speak to him again'.
You can have other people, outside the dialogue, interrupt with an accidental bump that'll cause a glass to spill and will force the group to move to a more quiet place. Or, if it's at a restaurant, let the waiter come in and the people either show they're not so interested by happily turning to the waiter, or show their interest by shooing the waiter with a 'we're not ready to order yet. We'll call you.'.
If the narrator is one of the listening people, you can interrupt the dialogue with their thoughts on particular events being mentioned, or maybe that one person has half his mind on the conversation and the other half is worried about his son who's gone to prom and he better not be drinking because he's supposed to be the designated driver for his friends.
By breaking up the long dialogue paragraph, you avoid boring the reader and get the chance to point at what else is going on, in the area or in the other characters' minds.
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