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Topic : Re: Can this sentence have the same detail and yet be simple to comprehend? While inside the weatherbeaten maternity hut lit by a single candle, out of the dark shadow of its mother's womb, - selfpublishingguru.com

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It's a complex sentence, with a complex structure and many adjectives. I, for one, love a well-constructed long sentence, so I won't suggest breaking it up.

Try doing what the midwife does: reconstruct it from its parts. Start with the basics: subject, verb, and object. Keep those clear as you fill in the details. Looks like you have three parts, separated by semicolons. Focus on making each of those clear.

I had trouble understanding the start of the sentence, down to "conceived." (You might want to say "delivered" instead. Conception is something else.) And, honestly, around "the ribs" I felt like skipping ahead to the third part of the sentence. Maybe shorten the middle?


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