: Re: How can I describe nervousness? Becoming nervous in the heat of a situation. Perhaps you witnessed something not for the faint of heart. Like, how would I describe shaky legs without being
Spend less time describing the nervousness, and more time describing what is making your characters nervous.
Neither of them moved a muscle. Elias could hear his own heartbeat; he could even hear Jamie's nervous breaths. Two sets of footsteps were coming toward them. One was heavy and slow, like an adult's; the other seemed quicker and lighter.
(from something I'm writing)
In this short paragraph, only one sentence is devoted to actually describing nervousness: hearing one's own heartbeat and someone else's breath. Readers know from that sentence that Jamie and Elias are nervous; there is no need to tell them again.
Instead, the rest of the paragraph is about their situation. Why are they nervous? They need to avoid detection, and two mysterious figures are moving toward them. This heightens the tension in the scene and gives Elias and Jamie a reason to be nervous, which is much more effective than continuing to describe nervousness itself.
More posts by @Martha805
: Is this an example of an unreliable narrator? I've been writing a mystery story recently, but I've run into a problem concerning the major plot twist, and was hoping for some guidance from more
: How to describe generic once-off characters? What are some good tips or ways to describe a character in a story that plays no significant role, and only appears for that particular moment in
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © selfpublishingguru.com2024 All Rights reserved.