: Re: Opening statement doesn't match conclusion. Is this count as plot loophole? I wrote a story that starts like this: My girlfriend, Hitomi, is in love with my elder brother. But refuses

@Phylliss352

Vote Up Vote Down

The important thing isn't who the narrator is, it is what tense you use.

If you use the past tense, the narrator is looking back to something that already happened and the narration needs to reflect later events unless the narrator is unreliable and hides them on purpose that the reader can understand.

If you use the present tense the narration follows the timeline of the story and not only do you not need to account for future events and future knowledge, you really shouldn't.

That said, you are correct that having the narrator say things that turn out to be untrue makes the story weaker. There are two ways to deal with this.

You can use unreliable narrator. I am guessing this mostly involves making explicit that the narrator has some reason for telling this story, an agenda of his own. Your story doesn't seem like there is actual need to deceive the reader, so just mentioning that he is telling the story as he saw it at the time it happened should be enough to warn the reader he might be wrong.

Alternately, you can show not tell. Instead of the narrator saying his girlfriend is in love with his brother, narrate what the girlfriend does to make him think that and how he reacts to it.

For your story the first option is probably easier.

And for the record, if someone is convinced of something, they believe it to be a fact and would narrate it as such. The word "convinced" would be used if the narrator knew he was wrong, in which case past tense would be used, or if the focus was on the feelings of the narrator not on what the girlfriend feels.

(0)

Login to post a comment!