: Re: Ways to replace "Then, ..." I find myself writing "Then, ..." a lot. Example: As soon as she found my letter---or rather, Kiyoshi's---she widened her slitted eyes and pressed the letter

@Lee1909368

Vote Up Vote Down

Use the active voice in your sentences and replace the adverbial interjections with metaphor or simile.
Use "then" at the end of long sequences of actions to signify their final step/completion or as the transition/introduction to another set of actions with a different purpose or by another character, hopefully.
Then, as though she were handling a delicate glass sculpture, she opened the envelope.
She opened the envelope, careful to handle it as though it were a delicate glass sculpture.
Then, setting down his chef hat on the counter, he said, “Look my shift’s over. How ‘bout we go to the izakaya around the corner?
He set down his chef hat and let out a long sigh. "Look..."
Then, receiving her apple, I asked her, "So > what now?"
I took the offered apple with one hand. "So what now?" I asked during the natural pause created by the gifting.
As you can see, you'll need to incorporate words that indicate simultaneous action. That and various sentence complexity combos.

(0)

Login to post a comment!