: Re: Ways to replace "Then, ..." I find myself writing "Then, ..." a lot. Example: As soon as she found my letter---or rather, Kiyoshi's---she widened her slitted eyes and pressed the letter

As the other answers have noted, you can rewrite the sentences to remove the need for "then" (or possibly just omit it without any rewriting at all). However, there are also a few synonyms you can use, allowing you to keep the sense of narrative flow you're after without the frequent repetition of "then".

As soon as she found my letter---or rather, Kiyoshi's---she widened her slitted eyes and pressed the letter against her chest. A moment later, as though she were handling a delicate glass sculpture, she opened the envelope.

Mr. HSC squinted his slanted eyes at me before setting down his chef hat on the counter. â€œLook, my shiftâ€™s over," he said. "How â€˜bout we go to the izakaya around the corner?

I answered her smile with my own. As I received her apple, I asked her, "So, what now?"

Load Full (0)

: Writing without a contract About 8 months ago a small game development company approached me to write dialogue for quests. They loved my writing and I quickly became the narrative designer for

@Carla500

Load Full 1 Comments

: How much of a character's past/background should I let on? I've been starting something really interesting lately, which is writing each of my main character's back story before writing the main

@Carla500

Load Full 5 Comments

: Redeeming a Good Character Who Does a Bad Thing Is it possible to redeem a character who is supposed to be good, but does something inexplicably bad? Let me give you an example so you can

@Carla500

Load Full 1 Comments

: Larger structure - followup to Sense of Style by Steven Pinker I have read Steven Pinker's Sense of Style, which is a great book. In chapter 4, he talks about how to form lucid coherent

: Re: Ways to replace "Then, ..." I find myself writing "Then, ..." a lot. Example: As soon as she found my letter---or rather, Kiyoshi's---she widened her slitted eyes and pressed the letter

More posts by @Carla500

: Writing without a contract About 8 months ago a small game development company approached me to write dialogue for quests. They loved my writing and I quickly became the narrative designer for

: How much of a character's past/background should I let on? I've been starting something really interesting lately, which is writing each of my main character's back story before writing the main

: Redeeming a Good Character Who Does a Bad Thing Is it possible to redeem a character who is supposed to be good, but does something inexplicably bad? Let me give you an example so you can

: Larger structure - followup to Sense of Style by Steven Pinker I have read Steven Pinker's Sense of Style, which is a great book. In chapter 4, he talks about how to form lucid coherent

Login to post a comment!

0 Comments

Back to top