: How can I give a novel a particular atmosphere? I've been writing fan fiction for 7+ years now. Recently, I went back and compared the ratings my fan fiction has received from my readers,

Vote Up Vote Down

The other answers provided here are awesome, and I also advise word choice to be paramount.
I would like to add, though, that since you're writing about desperation, and that is the feeling you're currently wishing to create, try breaking down desperation into a series of action.
Find the root cause of the characters' desperation, or the state that their environment is in and portray things happening that would create this desperate feel.
This could be larger plot events. Or, on a smaller scale, tiny things that happen in each of the characters' lives.
Desperation comes around when people feel trapped, or incapable, and it seems there is only one option left (or none) and they have been lead to doing the extremes to fix things. This is a very anxious feeling, a very uncomfortable place to be in.
While you're taking your reader on a walk through the park like Mark Baker suggested, have tiny things happen that create this anxiety.
The girl is getting dressed this morning, but she can't quite find the right outfit. Nothing she puts on seems to flatter her, or make her feel good. She keeps glancing to the window and the blinds are tilted up a little. She feels watched, observed, by any random stranger who may pass by her room window. As she walks to the bathroom to brush her teeth, she notices a leak coming from the ceiling, stuff oozing down the side of the wall.
These little things out of place, stripping your character of control, will create the idea that the world is slipping and if she can't keep a grasp on anything, then she's going to get desperate really fast to get a grip again.

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

This might seem like an issue of setting or structure, but it's actually about your characters and their perspective. If your characters are desperate, and you are close enough to their point of view, this will give your story a feel of desperation. Keep in mind, however, what is a desperate situation for one character might not be for another.

If the story doesn't have a "feel" to it, you might be too far distanced from the characters' point of view. You don't have to go first-person, just try to get inside their heads and hearts a bit more.

You can then invest this mood into your details and descriptions. For instance, a looming tree raised its branches threateningly against the darkened sky has a very different feel than a welcoming tree opened its branches gratefully to the night, even though they might conceivably both be descriptions of the same tree at the same time. Different mood, different emotions, different feel.

(0)