: Re: Why does using this "-ing" verb construction make my writing weaker? I had to write a scholarship essay, wherein I wrote this sentence: Over the ensuing years I read as much as I could,
Part of the problem comes from the fact that you have "ensuing" followed by "trying" — which makes the sentence sing-songy and metrically weak.
But as it stands the sentence is wordy and therefore weak. Certainly you could improve it by dropping the "trying" altogether:
Over the ensuing years I read as much as I could, to increase my knowledge and understanding of my own language.
Let's try to hack off a few more words:
After that I read as much as I could, to increase my knowledge and understanding of my own language.
But we can still do better:
After that, to improve my skill in English, I read a great deal.
You'll notice I substituted "English" for "my own language"; if your own language is not English, substitute whatever language applies.
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