: Re: Is the opening of this story intriguing, "dark" and smooth? Disclaimer: I'm not an Native English Speaker. This is my fifth attempt of writing a short story (the previous ones are set in the

I find it interesting and intriguing, I want to know more. However, what stroke me the most is the absence of important details.

He enters the strip club, no mention about the presence or absence of a doorman.
He sits at the bar, no mention about the presence or absence of a barmaid.
Is the fog unusual? We don't know.

To answer the question, is it dark? Not really. There is nothing scary about walking at night and entering an empty strip club (I do it all the time, lol). We need to know why we should find it dark, try to add more details about the atmosphere.

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: You're a technical writer so I'll speak to you in your language. You know what a sine wave looks like, right? Think of good drama as maximizing the distance between the high and low peaks

@Carla500

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: Ironically the aphorism "Show don't tell" neither shows nor tells. Hence new writers are confused about its meaning and are prone to transposing the verbs.

@Carla500

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: How do readers/writers alike feel about too much narration in a story? My question is pretty much summed up in the title. My story includes a lot of narration. Narrating events, narrating character's

@Carla500

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: At what point does a POV character noting their surroundings go from showing/telling to an infodump? In a story I'm working on, at one point one of the main characters (also the POV character

: Re: Is the opening of this story intriguing, "dark" and smooth? Disclaimer: I'm not an Native English Speaker. This is my fifth attempt of writing a short story (the previous ones are set in the

More posts by @Carla500

: You're a technical writer so I'll speak to you in your language. You know what a sine wave looks like, right? Think of good drama as maximizing the distance between the high and low peaks

: Ironically the aphorism "Show don't tell" neither shows nor tells. Hence new writers are confused about its meaning and are prone to transposing the verbs.

: How do readers/writers alike feel about too much narration in a story? My question is pretty much summed up in the title. My story includes a lot of narration. Narrating events, narrating character's

: At what point does a POV character noting their surroundings go from showing/telling to an infodump? In a story I'm working on, at one point one of the main characters (also the POV character

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