: How to create tension during a conversation In my novel my protagonist speaks to a man while being held at gun point. She (protagonist) tried to kill him. He was her boss, was involved in
In my novel my protagonist speaks to a man while being held at gun point. She (protagonist) tried to kill him. He was her boss, was involved in her best friend's death and wants the protagonist dead. He considers her race animals, she tries to reason with him.
Although he is threatening her and her race, they are clearly hostile to each other and she could be killed, they talk normally. I am not sure the scene is tense enough, because they act so calm. So how do I convey tension?
If it helps, I can add part of the conversation (but it will be a translation)
More posts by @Mendez196
: What does "juvenile tone" mean? I often hear the word thrown around, but I don't have any idea of what it is, or how can it be avoided. So, what does "juvenile tone" mean and how can I
: How to make stock death speech great again? So, Character d is dying, he got shot in the side with a Pulse Rifle. This is very bad, as Pulse Rifles are in the laser category and
5 Comments
Sorted by latest first Latest Oldest Best
I am going to add my two cents, half a year later, because I haven't seen this said out right yet:
You can't create tension by changing the conversation, not really.
If there isn't tension in the scene, the situation is the problem, not the conversation.
Tension requires two things and two things only
A character your readers care about
Uncertainty in that character's fate
To drive this point home, there is a really creative and suspenseful "gun to your head scene" from the movie Sonatine, in which the conversation involved is 'calm'. I am willing to bet that I can show you two short clips from the film, one to get you to care about the characters, and one to make you uncertain about their fate, and you will feel suspense even without seeing the rest of the film.
Just a little context, the characters are whats left of a yakuza gang, in hiding due to a gang war gone wrong, and you find out near the beginning of the film that almost everyone they cared about recently died. The older character in the clips is the leader of the gang.
Here is the first clip of them goofing off on the beach to get you to care about the characters.
Here is the second clip to get you uncertain about their fate.
Suspense.
There is hardly any dialogue; the suspense doesn't come from the conversation. In reality, there isn't even a real threat. The suspense comes from the fact that we care about the characters and we don't know whats going to happen.
So how can you apply this to your scene? Make sure your readers care about the character who has the gun pointed at them, and then make sure that your readers are uncertain about whether the gun will go off somehow. Here are some ideas.
You could do this by bringing up the question of whether or not the
boss has it in him to kill way earlier in the novel, and throughout.
Maybe he is guilty about killing her friend, and isn't sure if he is
ready to kill again.
Maybe you could show, somehow, that the gun is broken and might go
off at any moment even if the boss doesn't pull the trigger, and may
not go off even if he does, showing this many scenes earlier so it
doesn't feel artificial, and maybe making the characters unaware.
You could make the boss psychotic; maybe he flips a coin or plays
Russian roulette instead of killing her out right. This one is a bit
cliche, but it can clearly work if Sonatine, The
Dark Knight, and Bang! Bang! You're Dead are anything to go
by.
The point is, tension doesn't come from a well written and believable conversation; tension comes from an uncertain and believable situation.
Don't get me wrong, a well written conversation can do a lot for a scene like this. A conversation can make the situation sadder, or funnier, or creepier, or more disgusting, or happier, or make us hate the boss more, or love the boss more, or love the mc more, but it can't in and of itself make it more tense.
In a tense situation, especially a physically dangerous one, your senses sharpen, your mind races, you watch everything and try to read as much as you can into the danger so you can predict what will happen and save yourself. One way to communicate tension would be to bring the reader into the perspective of one of the characters (if you haven't already) and show the rapid calculations and guesses taking place.
In the perspective of the woman at gunpoint, she might notice his white knuckles as he grips the gun too hard, or a flash of anger in his eyes, when she says something that sets him off. She might see a flicker of confusion pass across his face when she says something that gets through to him a little. She might notice him shift his stance nervously, see the pulse hammering in the hollow of his neck, beads of sweat at his temples. She might feel her own stomach turn to ice, or fingernails digging into her palms as she clenches her fists, etc.
Try describing the physical reactions ... elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, trouble thinking.
And maybe the one holding the gun is calmer because he's getting what he wants - or is more nervous because he has trouble with the idea of killing.
But if you describe what your characters are feeling physically, you can impart the tension they're feeling emotionally.
Whether you can pull this off depends on the personality of your characters. Not everyone gets dramatic in a high pressure situation. Some people get very calm. If you've established your character as someone who is cool-blooded and focused (or alternately, as someone who is usually NEVER cool-blooded and focused) this could be a strong scene for her.
There's always something that betrays tension however. Physical tells (like in poker) include things like clenched fists, pursed lips, a twitch in the eye, or a strained tone of voice. The verbal tells for someone who is very controlled can sometimes be paradoxical. I personally tend to get exaggeratedly polite when I'm angry. Some people can appear very casual, or make little jokes. Another way to show tension is to let a little of it leak out around the sides --a sudden explosion of anger or a curse word inserted into a sentence by someone who doesn't usually curse.
I would suggest both the book and movie version of Remains of the Day as good studies for this --the main character is an ultra-repressed English butler with an obsession with being perfect at all times. The only moment in the movie where his emotions really break through is when he drops and breaks a vintage bottle of wine. It's significant only in context --it's the only time you see him not be perfect. But just because of that, it's a very memorable and tense moment. You also might find this essay relevant (Beyoncé, from her Lemonade album).
Tension in a conversation is created by disagreement, rejection of arguments, attitude (hatred, resentment), misunderstanding, confusion, attempts to convince or sway somebody that fall on deaf ears, including offers of bribery (monetary, sexual, information or other services) that do not work, or are considered.
Tension is created by clashes, IF the reader cannot predict with certainty how they will turn out.
In your case, I suspect you are engaged in "false jeopardy" since your MC is the one in supposed danger, unless this occurs in the last few pages of the book. 007 is never killed halfway through the movie. If he jumps out of a plane without a parachute, he will not hit the ground. If somebody puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger, it will be empty or misfire or the shooter will be killed before the gun fires.
False jeopardy is very difficult to pull off, your readers will only be interested in how your MC gets out of it, and if it is all conversation with somebody that has already murdered someone else for the same reason, and fears being killed by your protagonist? I personally would find that impossible to do with even a shred of plausibility.
Terms of Use Privacy policy Contact About Cancellation policy © selfpublishingguru.com2024 All Rights reserved.