: Re: At what point does a POV character noting their surroundings go from showing/telling to an infodump? In a story I'm working on, at one point one of the main characters (also the POV character

@LarsenBagley300

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Consider lengthening it rather than cutting or curtailing it.

Infodump Example:

"There was a red sofa, and the pillows were hand stitched and
festooned with red posies, The picture on the wall was hand stitched
as well, and an area rug on the hardwood used the same color scheme.
The owner entered from the back of the house, dressed in a red frock.
In fact, he realized now, the walls were a pale shade of red, and
roses bloomed profusely just outside the window. What is this, the
house of blood?"

^ There is a fair amount of home decorating information there. Not much showing. You can draw it out by interweaving showing, perhaps something like below. The idea is that while less is often more, sometimes more is more. (Warning: The below is thrown together, too purple, and still telly).

More than info dump example:

"There was a red sofa, with a depression on one side. It reminded him
of his mother's king-size bed, sunk on one side from years of
widowhood, like the weight of her grief had slowly pushed her side of
the mattress into submission. He wondered if the sofa in front of him had a similar
story to tell. Maybe so, because the pillows, hand-stitched and
festooned with red posies, held the vestiges of dinge along the edges,
as though any handwringing a person might do on that sofa invariably
sucked the cushions in, too.

The picture on the wall was hand stitched, just like the pillows, and
even the pattern was the same. He wondered if they were a match set.
Seemed hard to imagine, since the home owner had no friends, no
family, and no time for hobbies (and very little patience for tasks
that could be more efficiently accomplished by machine.). Why would
Mrs. Smith have hand stitched decor? It was an odd detail. He spent a
moment committing the pattern to memory, just in case.

An area rug on the hardwood used the same color scheme. In fact, he
realized now, even the walls were a pale shade of red, and red roses
bloomed profusely just outside the window. What is this, a house of
blood? The grime on the pillows took on a sinister hue and he began
to regret his decision to come to this house.

The owner returned from the back of the house, dressed in long-sleeved
red frock. He gasped, for the red was not the frock, but rather the
woman's skin, showing through a translucent fabric.

He made a mad dash for the door but ..."

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