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Topic : Re: Is show not tell less useful advice in first person Following the first answer for this question What does Show don't Tell actually mean I followed to the Chuck Palahniuk exercise and tried - selfpublishingguru.com

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If "Jack talks too much" is what your character thinks (and he's not referring to himself in the third person?), then I'd say you are showing. You are showing your character's thoughts without telling us how to interpret or understand them.

You didn't say "I don't like when people talk a lot" or "People who talk a lot annoy me" - which would give us an 'obvious' understanding of what Jack thinks unless you were actually trying to slowly show how Jack's understanding of himself is, well... off somehow.

Maybe you're barely showing, though, and could use a more "reaction-like thought" kind of like: "Please stop talking, please stop talking.", but I personally don't think it's necessary.

EDITED/Additional answer.

First, I don't think your story is in first-person if Jack is the main character and not the narrator - BUT; you may show that "Jack talks too much" in a different way.

Second: If "Jack talks too much", then someone must think so. Thus, the right thing to do (in my opinion) is to have someone else show that he talks too much.

Example: "Jack went on for another 5 minutes about how he appreciated that Alex had come straight to him, mentioning his previous experiences with other people, and how it hurt when they went behind his back" - Alex had raised his hand and opened his mouth a couple of times during Jack's speech, but now stood with a distant look in his eyes, facing the door..."

Now, I have no idea what other characters are in your story and what their relations are to Jack, but this is simply an attempt to show that "Jack talks too much" through the characters around him.


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