In a related issue, I've had run-ins with members of this group where
they have criticized my communication as too abrupt, to the point they
were offended a woman would talk in the manner that I do (which I
perceive as their double-standard, since I talk exactly as they do).
This part is bizarre and seemingly off topic, but it's made me
hyper-sensitive of how I communicate within this group.

Firstly, let me re-iterate what you already know, doing a friendly tutorial series is a wonderful and helpful pursuit. Your making a worthwhile and positive contribution is awesome and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If a troll randomly chooses to take offense then that is entirely their problem so block them out and continue to contribute.

My issue is that this "We" voice has started to feel artificial and
forced. I'm not an educator and this is a labor of love, but saying
everything in first person plural is starting to feel condescending,
like Miss Manners lecturing small children. "We don't jump on the
furniture, Billy."

Regardless of other people's opinions, experimenting and experiencing different writing or teaching styles is a tremendous positive. I've written in first, second and third. Second person is my preference because I am direct and objective, first person feels too personal and third feels too distant. But that is my preference and I have forced myself to use each.

As for the best writing style for tutorials, and once you have become comfortable, it would depend what you are trying to convey. My kids watch youtube tutorials constantly and they seem to fall into the following categories:

First person "I"

Videos that are not so much about reaching out, but are effective autobiographing the authors actions are often in the first person "I". For example, "this is how I do..."

Follow along graphics

Follow along gaming

First person "we"

Videos that are teaching videos, talking to (and attempting!) to engage a class or a lecture theature are often in the first person "we". For example, "we as a group are all going to follow the steps ..."

Educational long addition

Educational Stampy Long Nose Wonder Quest

Second and Third Person

Videos that are referring to and describing other things are often in the second or third person. For example, here on the blackboard you see that the macrophage eats the bacteria and he seems to be enjoying it...

Educational Amoeba Sisters

So there is no wrong way to do it and don't be discouraged, think about what you are trying to convey and persist with the style until it becomes comfortable or second nature, and keep up the good work!

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