: How to explain something mid sentence I'm writing a review for a fiction book and I'm using a lot of terminology that is specific to the book and I feel that it has to be given some context

Vote Up Vote Down

Or perhaps even: "The Pope is the head of the Church and Lauren and Phil trembled when they were sent to see him."

I hope this example is fictitious and you don't feel you have to tell your readers about the Pope.

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

For the record, this is called the appositive
www.chompchomp.com/terms/appositive.htm

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

There are three ways to insert an aside mid-sentence like this:

Commas: "Laurent and Phil had to go see the Pope, the leader of the Catholic Church, and warn him..."
Em or En Dashes (NOT the same as a hyphen): "Laurent and Phil had to go see the Pope — the leader of the Catholic Church — and warn him..."
Parenthetical aside: "Laurent and Phil had to go see the Pope (the leader of the Catholic Church) and warn him..."

Some people will argue that one of these is best for a particular situation, but they are largely interchangeable, so you can usually just use the one that feels best to you.

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

What you have done is fine. You can also change the order, and provide the explanation first. Example: ... had to go see the head of the Catholic Church, the Pope, and warn ...

Alternatively, you can also use hyphens. Example: ... had to go see the Pope - the head of the Catholic Church - and warn ...

(0)

Vote Up Vote Down

I think this construction is fine, but you're right, if you overuse it you may find that your writing seems monotonous.

I would first work on cutting as much of the extraneous information as possible. Reviews aren't summaries -- they generally include a brief synopsis (leaving out the ending, of course), but especially in a book with a convoluted plot or complicated setting, I think less is more. I personally don't like it when book reviews reveal much more than the blurb on the back of the book does. So maybe you don't need as much information as you think.

If you DO need it all, I'd suggest mixing the structure up with a few sentences that are just background information, and also including a bit more information in your main clauses. eg.

The Pope is the head of the Catholic Church, and is based in a heavily defended fortress of faith, the Vatican. Satan assigns Laurent and Phil the task of stealing the Pope's jewel-encrusted ceremonial hat.

(0)