: Re: Issue of tense and breaking the fourth wall/meta Looking at another thread on tense, I realize that this one of mine may be misconstrued as me asking for help fixing a specific paragraph. Rather

(The present tense seems to work for me....)

What I've seen done (and you can consider) is to make your 'bug' a feature, instead. Set off each chapter (or just occasional chapters) with this type of meta paragraph. And offset it in font/style. You can infuse these with elements that give the narrator more depth, or add elements orthogonal and complementary to your story. Now it becomes a part of the contract with the reader, we expect it and are fine with it. Here are some quite bad examples:

An early chapter could be:

The MC doesn't know what's in store. It's best this way, because (s)he
is the only one that can (blah blah blah) but if (s)he knew, (s)he
might refuse. ...

A later chapter,

I'm impressed. (s)he doesn't know that what (s)he's accomplished has
taken us one step closer to (blah blah blah)

Your existing chapter:

I want to reach through my screen and just give the bereft MC a hug,
to hold her and wrap her in warm blanket. But I can do none of these
things. I'm just a sword in a story of my own creation. Another actor
bound by the rules of another world.

A final chapter

It's times like these I wish I was more than a sword. The MC has shone
(blah blah blah)

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: Guidance on pacing the introduction of new characters I'm adding a qualifying question to the end of this question. So I have (let's say) two types of feedback in my beta critiques and real-life

@Kaufman555

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: How do I include a powerful theme in my story without making it blatantly obvious? I want to have an underlying message in my writing but I really don't want it to come across as annoying

@Kaufman555

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: How can I make a "meeting in VR" less dumb? I've written myself into a sci-fi cliche which I have never seen done well: two characters meet in virtual reality. The gist of my scene is one

@Kaufman555

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: Write what people intended to say, not the sounds of the words. We don't write character accents phonetically (hopefully). We don't add every "umâ€¦" and pause that's used in normal speech.

: Re: Issue of tense and breaking the fourth wall/meta Looking at another thread on tense, I realize that this one of mine may be misconstrued as me asking for help fixing a specific paragraph. Rather

More posts by @Kaufman555

: Guidance on pacing the introduction of new characters I'm adding a qualifying question to the end of this question. So I have (let's say) two types of feedback in my beta critiques and real-life

: How do I include a powerful theme in my story without making it blatantly obvious? I want to have an underlying message in my writing but I really don't want it to come across as annoying

: How can I make a "meeting in VR" less dumb? I've written myself into a sci-fi cliche which I have never seen done well: two characters meet in virtual reality. The gist of my scene is one

: Write what people intended to say, not the sounds of the words. We don't write character accents phonetically (hopefully). We don't add every "umâ€¦" and pause that's used in normal speech.

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