: Re: Vision/dream as an effective opening? I'm looking for opinions on the effectiveness of this opening scene. It's a vision, not that he knows that at first. He thinks it a dream and won't quite

It doesn't grab me from the first sentence, which is the real beginning. I have no sense of mystery, or wanting to know more, except perhaps right at the end. I have no sense that what the character is experiencing is, in fact, unusual, except towards the end. It's also strange because the character's heart is thudding loudly, but he behaves in a completely calm and rational fashion.

My advice would be to begin with the character's bewilderment, and show the reader that what is happening is unusual. He seems to have been awake in a normal setting one minute, and then he was in some weird hallucination / dream / vision the next. It's difficult to believe that he would not remember where he was previously. Regardless, you probably create more interest for the reader by making it that he remembers. Consider this brief opening sequence (it's not going to win any prizes, it's just meant as an illustration):

The world dissolved into darkness, as
if a black hole had sucked out the
light. The rumble of the passing dump
truck and chatter of people on their
way to work vanished, replaced only by
the sound of Josh's thundering heart
in his chest.

Immediately, we get the sense that the world has changed. Something strange has happened. Better still, our character, Josh, is in a panic. He may be in danger. What's going on? We want to read more to find out.

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: Re: Vision/dream as an effective opening? I'm looking for opinions on the effectiveness of this opening scene. It's a vision, not that he knows that at first. He thinks it a dream and won't quite

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