: Re: Is head-hopping always bad? The general consensus nowadays seems to be that being in the head of more than one character is bad. We should be "on the shoulders" or "in the head" of one character,

@Bethany377

Dune head hops the whole way through and is still held up by many as an example of a Sci-fi great. The rule to any writing mechanic is that it must be executed smoothly, consistently, in a way that does not confuse the reader. Finally that mechanic must be additive, in that it provides something to the story. In Dune, head hopping is is used to show how much everyone is willing to betray everyone else, which directly increases the tension. So, it is ok to head head hop.

When is it OK? What about the above examples (and other similar ones) makes it OK, whereas it is not OK under different circumstances?

The primary concern about head hopping is that it generates confusion and if done poorly breaks the fourth wall by getting the reader to think about story structure instead of the narrative put forth before them. A compelling omniscient third person narrator doesn't do this because he sets expectations early that he knows everything. Revealing a bit about a character in a moment of conflict is fine, so long as that character is seeing the thing that moves the story forward. Even if we sort of get the perspective of a specific character from our narrator, it's often still in the context of the greater narrative. You'd likely only accuse a 3rd person omniscient narrator of head hopping if he started providing details that weren't important just so that he could explain what everyone was thinking all of the time.


Frodo took only Sting; and his mail-coat, as Bilbo wished, remained hidden.


This is omniscient narration; not head hopping. We learn that Bilbo had a wish, but the POV doesn't change. POV, or point of view, is essentially where the camera in the scene is situated and whose mind-sounds appear as words on the page. There's nothing particularly Frodo in that sentence.


Aragorn sat with his head bowed to his knees; only Elrond knew fully what this hour meant for him.


Again, these statements would simply be narration. Aragorn is described from a distance. We are told Elrond knows a thing; but this is a tell, not a show. It's still from the point of view of the narrator.


Sam eased the pack on his shoulders, and went over anxiously in his mind all the things that he had stowed in it, wondering if he had forgotten anything


This so far is your best example of taking on the POV of the character. Note, it's a pretty shallow dive into Sam. We don't get a description of the way the pack feels; but we do get some of what's going on in that head of his. It's still not full immersion though, it's still a tell.


At first it seemed to the hobbits that although they walked and stumbled until they were weary, they were creeping forward like snails, and getting nowhere.


Still omniscient 3rd. Why? Because every single reference is still having the subject be the person/group being described; Tolkien is transitioning, giving the reader a sense of where their viewpoint is.


Away in the south Frodo could see the dim shapes of lofty mountains that seemed now to stand across the path that the company was taking.


Nope, still 3rd. Tolkien is telling the story of The Fellowship of the Ring and the fellowship is a combination of perspectives, people. In order to make his story work he often describes what the different people in the fellowship are doing. In fact, most of your examples are just that. The POV almost universally 3rd, still; at least in the examples you've given. I'd be curious to see how he handled Shelob's lair, where it's just the one character present; but haven't looked.



I think, in your case, the main thing to learn is that 3rd person omniscient is not what people refer to by head hopping. Narrations have similar scope ideas to programming (if you can make that leap; maybe, you are on stack); and head hopping literally means "point-of-view" shift. You are hopping from one head to another; seeing in a whole new way. If you move from being the programmer to the program, you've head hopped. If you go from knowing everything to knowing almost nothing except what one of your characters can see, you've head hopped.

When is head hopping ok?

When it doesn't spoil the read. When you set expectations early that you will do it and do it often and you've found an audience willing to accept that you will do that. And when it does something to improve the quality of the book. Never say never. There's a book that won a Hugo that has 2nd person narration, sometimes (you do this, you're thinking this, etc), Broken Earth. Someone will find a way to headhop gracefully, but it's that last word gracefully that matters. Write well and people will read you.

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